I'm.....Purple! (New site)

Hey Guys!!!

Don't get mad, I can explain!

Basically I've gotten tired of writing on my blog, but don't worry, I'm still around.

Actually I've been going by the name Purple now, and it's going pretty well. I have my own show, my own web page, just the works. So instead of using this (which I still might now and then) I now use a TUMBLR!!! you can go check it out if you want!!

PLEASE NOTE: FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT REALLY KNOW ME, DON'T PUT MY BUSINESS OUT LIKE THAT!!! I'M DIFFERENT NOW AND I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU CAN PLAY ALONG WITH IT!!!

The web page to my tumblr will be at the bottom.

And again, I'm not gone, I've just moved on!!!

:)

http://purplebubbie.tumblr.com/

Progression in Life

Yes this video is over 13 mins long, but hey I havent been on here for a while, have to let you all up on the updates some type of way.

Now when I heard it again, I noticed I didnt say the change I had in my FAMILY, which is pretty BIG
How big is it? Not that big that I need to go into details, but it is a good change
IIIIMMMM BAAAAAAACK!!!!!

5 pedals have fallen....but 15 grew in their place...

WHERE HAVE I BEEN!?!?

Okay,
So I understad that I've been gone for quite a while, its only because I've been BUSY with work.... So I'm just going to SUM up all I've done since last time....

AUGUST: 20th birthday-went to LAS VEGAS!!

SEPTEMBER: started junior year....and I was heading toward HELL!!

OCTOBER: was in a PAGENT even though I didnt win, it was still FUN!!

NOVEMBER: Work+Stress=HELL

And now we are in December! Now I will not lie to you, if you all do not hear from me soon, its only because I'm busy OUT OF MY MIND!!!!
Don't worry, I will come back ^_^

"What You Be On!?!?" Round II: The Faucets

HELLO!!!!
as you all should be aware of.... this hermit crab is slowly coming out of her shell.... but not to the point of being seen.... in time i will be back to my normal self... and to start off getting back to my regualr self, let me start off with a new rant of my mind....so let me just say that today, or last nite or how about just yesterday was just too interesting for me. but what was one of the most interesting thing about it was what me and my friend Taylor were talking about.
so we got into different conversations but one of the conversations was about when people have sex in the shower (dont ask how we got to that conversation you dont want to know) but what i was talking about was how it was digusting when people do it in the shower knowing that others use it as well (by others i mean roomates). so this is what she pointed out to me, and i quote
"you know that when you take a shower anything that you wash or wash away goes down the drain. so when it comes to having sex, the aftermath or the 'remains' of it will wash off, go down the drain, into the sewers, into some water company where they filter and purify it so that they can use the same water in the water fountains..."
-Taylor Green
pretty crazy huh? it makes sense to why some water tastes different than others.... so then a subject came upon my mind and got me thinking... now it might be touchy but bare with me here..... "what are we actually drinking ?" i mean really people think about it, are you really drinking "clean" water in public places or someones remians from an afternoon delight (its a song look it up) you might be thinking you drinking just water, but if one day while drinking at the water fountain with no one behind you, you hear "AAAAHHHH!!! HELP ME!!!!", its time to go to the doctor. i know, im going to far on this huh? but that comment was a joke aight get over it. i mean im being funny but also serious at the same time. i understand that we as people need to recycle, but to me, recycling water is just a bit to touchy.
but lets get some knowledge for a little bit people. EARTH, if some of yall dont know, is coverd with 70% of water. with all that water, 98% is salt water which means the rest, which is 2% if you cant subtract, is clean. now take away 1.96% of that pure water thats in alaska(ice) and the underground, and the sum total, which is 0.04% again for those who cant do math, is what we are using.(all this source came from "how stuff works" website so you know i didnt make this up http://science.howstuffworks.com/question157.htm)
so it makes sense to why there is such a thing as recycling water. but if we can purify the same water over and over again, why cant we purify the ocean water over and over till its clean!?!?!? i know i know its a process that takes time, its not that easy, alright i get the point, but all im saying is i would rather taste a little bit of salt in my water then little bits of semen and sperm.
well im going to end it right here because for some reason, i want to save all my comments for another topic of dicussion later on. so with this, let it be a lesson that you think twice of what you are really drinking.

Relationships

Hello to all!!! Yes, I know it's been awhile, but I needed a little time to think to myself. but im still M.I.A dont get me wrong, but i do miss expressing myself (in some cases) and this case i just have to let my feelings out about this subject: Relationships
now before i continue, NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE REASON WHY IVE BEEN MISSING!!!! ive been having several problems, this subject is not one of them.
shall we continue........
Now let me tell you a little bit about myself. I started dating when I was 12, and ever since then I've been in relationships. With the exception of two, the rest of them, where long-term relationships. And when one relationship would end, it would take me less than three months to start up a new one. Ever since my last relationship ended in late last August, I've been staying away from the whole relationship process and having more me time. Now going on over six months, I've learned a few things about myself and more things about relationships. And to sum up all that im going to say, in one word how I view relationships........BULLSHIT!!!!!!!
now let me explain.....
You see, it took me a long time to finally realize two of the main reasons why I would get into relationships. 1.) I wanted to be happy 2.) I wanted to feel loved and special. And with these two factors, it also made me realize why some of my relationships started to go down hill, ATTENTION!!!! why? heres the best way to sum it up.... only child.. and as my "little-big" brother Marc would say.. "there you go!" it never fails, the first three months of the relationship would start easy as pie. But after those first three months, each situation is different for each relationship but they all form up one big solution, ANNOYED!!! Either I will get annoyed with the guy or he would get annoyed with me either way it ends up with more arguements and less happiness on each side. But when I finally realized that those two main factors were the reasons of my relationships, it made me realize something about myself, I'm shallow with low self esteem. That I didnt feel special to myself, and so i look to guys to tell me and show me. and when i felt like they didnt, thats when they relationship would start going downhill. now of course, THATS A PROBLEM!!!!! Because me, of all people, telling others that they have a low self esteem problem, when I need to be fixing my own. That makes me a hypocrite, and that pisses me off. For I HATE hypocrites, and i aint going to turn into one either. But of course with all other issues that are in my way, making me realize my problem, I am now having peace withthin myself that all other issues are now lying low. So now that I'm finding happiness for myself, my theory on relationships can be best summed up by a quote from a squirrel.
"you do not need a significant other to live life, stop seeking something that isnt there and move on...."
or one of my favorite quotes from him
" I don't need to validate my existence through the existence of someone else. having a [boyfriend] does not make you a better person nor does it proves to the rest of your friends that youre cool........ Stop getting into superficial relationship bull**** most of an individuals misery usually comes from a significant other, a bad relationship, a bad marriage, or some bull**** like that. how about just getting to know yourself and living life......"
-Foamy the Squirrel
and both quotes are absolutely true. As of now, I don't need no one to make me feel like I'm somebody I need to let myself realize how special I really am towards others, especially myself.
But once Im in good standing of all this work, all of these problems that are weighing me down are off my sholders, and i found my own happiness, then i MIGHT get back on the relationship wagon.
the only reason why i say that is because with my generation. with the specific type of men that i like, i havent found one yet. and the rest of these guys, they are all full of it. and so are the females. the only reason why my generation, espically my people, for boys (cant call them men till they act like one, thats one MAIN PROBLEM) they only get in the relationship for sex, money, or apperance. what i mean by the last one is that i know a lot of my friends (remember, i hang out with mostly guys) are with their girls for she looks good and makes them popular. when the truth is they hate their girlfriends guts with a passion. and most of the same reason goes for the females (cant call them young ladies till they act like one) for sex, and cause they look good. and one good main factor that the females are in relationships, MONEY!!!! if they meet someone thats swimming in dough, they will do whatever it takes to claim them. cause i mean they dont want to seem to others that they are whores and prostitutes, so they date the dude to feel better about asking for money or stuff they want. dont get mad yall, its all TRUE FACTS. and yes of course, this DOES NOT apply to all, but it does apply to 1/2 of them. and if youre mad reading this, then im probably describing exactly who and what you really are...... and frankly, i dont want some guy to think that im with them cause of money; i have my parents for that, sex; still a virgin, or looking cool; for what!?!?!
so as all my peers are trying to get into a relationship, im not. even though i talk to other guys, does not mean that i want to be with them. it means that im still giving relationships a chance. and once im ready to get back on the wagon, i wouldve already found my 1st candidate.
so those that are still reading that might or might not have the same problem, just take a break and have time for yourself like im still doing as i write this. im seeing MAJOR progress, maybe you will too.
a new, improved, and strong pedal is starting to grow in replace of an old one.

Heaven

"I gotta make it to heaven, for going through hell"
-Curtis "50 cent" Jackson

(im still M.I.A but i want to write this because it will eat me alive if i didnt)
To me, i think i shouldnt be talking about this, espically not like how i am going to talk about it, but something inside of me just wants to let it out so ima just go with what this something is telling me
what is heaven? what does it look like? am i ready for it? when will i know? should i even recieve to go to heaven? is it everything someone would hope for? is it above the clouds or deep whithin your mind?
as i lay on my bed, thinking about this, i think to myself, why on earth am i even thinking about it? for what reason did this come to my mind? and frankly, i dont know. it actually scares me thinking about it, but i just want to let it go.
i use to think of heaven as a place somewhere in the clouds, with golden gates and angles flying all around. in some ways i knida still think of it in that way, but now growing up, i see it as a place where its bright, with something you look foward to. i feel as though heaven is what someone dreams of that will come true in their own way, if they were even acccept to the promise land that is. not trying to put anyone down, but its the truth. i mean i myself am not ready for it, TRULY ready for it, but then again, i dont know. maybe God is ready for me now, i dont think im ready, but maybe God thinks something different.
if that was the case, what would happen if i were to die right now? would anything change or would everything be the same? who would care if i died? i know my parents would of course, but i mean would my family care? i dont really care 2 pennys about them, would they feel the same way about me? what about my friends(or the few friends i have) how would they feel if i were to be gone right now? would my family and friends care about me or be glad that im off the face of this earth? would people even attend my funeral? what would they say about me? would they say that she was so sweet and it wasnt her time, or couldnt say anything about me at all?
it really does scare me saying something like this, hearing stories about people who think about death, then the next thing you know it comes true for them. i mean i dont want people to get the wrong idea as they read this, its just something ive been holding inside me for years, its nothing negative, im not depressed, but its something that now is really deep in my head. i get scared about it just thinking about it, but i also need to realize that i shouldnt because if i was truly saved, i would know that i will be going to the promise land and await for God to tell me His orders.
but you know, maybe God is telling me something, maybe im writing this casue He wants me to realize something. it might not be death or anything, but maybe its to make me realize that i need......... that i need to live each day..... like its my last. maybe thats it. because ive been living each day for the past few weeks with misery and..... dare i say it... regret. and its because of this that i havent truly talked to God in knowing that everything is going to be alright, but more of why is this happening to me. and i shouldnt question His work, i should just accept it and know that He will not do anything to hurt me.
even though as i write this post, and believe that everythings going to be alight, my heart feels poisoned. but i shouldnt let it stop me from doing what it is i need to do. maybe God is telling me as i write this post good things are going to come after all, just like good things come to those who wait, like going to heaven for example.
whatever the case may be for me writing this, even thinking about it, i feel as though its a good reason. and whatever God is trying to tell me as i write this, i know He is trying to tell me something that might change the way i think.....
But i wonder what it could be?

LIES & BEING USED (vacation)

didnt feel like typing a lot even though it makes me feel oh so better..... so i talked....

1.) if you cant hear it all, oh well i was trying not to cry in stuff of that nature. the things that you actually can hear are the things that you should hear.

2.) dont call, text, email, visit me, or whatever about this post, i will either tell you to drop it, leave me alone, or ignore you period.

this will be my last post for a while. im not running away like i usually do, im just going on vacation until "I" come back. so sorry but i will be M.I.A for a bit. (yea i know i usually do this) but this time ive gone insane about it.

GOD HELP ME!!!